Unrealistic expectations are making women sick, miserable and just fed up.
We live in a bit of a messed up world.
On one hand, we are expected to be the nurturers, the care takers, the organizers.
However, we can’t be too loud, too bold or take up too much space. Never, ever be bossy.
We need to practice self-care but not too much, ‘cause then we’re selfish.
We should have a career but also be an engaged, involved super mom (and if you don’t want children, then clearly there is something wrong with you).
We need to be polite, not make too much fuss, but don’t be a victim!
Always look your best, but don’t be too vain about it.
Don’t talk about things like politics, religion, money or sex….but be super informed and knowledgable about all of them.
Be a size 6 but also embrace your cellulite, curves and jiggly bits.
Don’t get angry, but be assertive.
Do not EVER talk about your period. EVER.
It is f*cking exhausting.
Welcome fellow fed up women!
I am so happy to have you here. Who am I anyway? Long version is here, but the short story is that I am a woman on a mission to spread a message; unrealistic expectations are destroying our souls (that may sound melodramatic, but I’m totally serious).
Professionally, I am a clinical psychologist who has worked with hundreds of women. I have heard so many versions of a similar story; amazing women who are trying to conform to the unrealistic expectations that have been set by others and themselves.
I’m a business owner, have a husband, have some kids, have a cat, have some friends. I’m a life-long learner and the more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.
Enough about me though, let’s talk about you!
This is the right place for you if you too feel fed up.
Sometimes you’re angry, sometimes you feel defeated, sometimes incredibly optimistic and sometimes you just want to put on your comfies, flick on Netflix and peace out on real life for a few hours.
You have super high expectations of yourself, but don’t expect enough of others. You know that things could be so much better for you and the people in your life but guilt and obligation keep you stuck in the same old patterns.
The news makes you want to weep and scream, but you know that you need to stay informed. This is not the place for you if you want to live in a bubble of avoidance and only want high vibes.
You recognize that there are systemic inequalities for women, but you also recognize that if you are a white woman, you have it way easier than others. I am a white woman swaddled in privilege and own that. I seek to learn from women of colour and try not to get too fragile when they call me on my bullsh*t. This a no-white-woman-tears zone.
You embrace all women, including trans-women. If you are a trans-woman, you are welcome, supported and included. The extra layer of bullsh*t expectations that you have to deal with is off the charts.
While recognizing systemic inequalities, you are curious and tough enough to really examine what role you are playing in your own life. What unrealistic expectations are you keeping alive and well for yourself and other women?
You have done some of your own internal work. You won’t be shocked to hear that your family of origin may have had a role in some of your current struggles. You are ready to have hard conversations. You are ready to hear the perspectives of other women, even perspectives that may make you feel defensive, uncomfortable and want to yell at me.
You want to make a big impact on the world, but aren’t sure where to start.
You are ready to SCREW EXPECTATIONS even if it’s uncomfortable, painful and awkward.
(You are also cool with swearing. Please do not send me messages about how unprofessional, un-ladylike or unintelligent it is to swear. It’s okay if I’m not the right fit for you. There are lots of non-swearing, brilliant women out there)
You still with me?
So what do we do here anyway?
WE SCREW EXPECTATIONS!!!!
This movement has been brewing inside of my heart and mind for over a year. I had to put it on to the back burner due to other obligations, but I was never able to fully extinguish the idea. Unlike many of my previous endeavours, I don’t have a clear plan. I don’t have a fancy launch strategy. I’m not 100% clear how this will evolve.
This is what I do know; I want to have conversations with brilliant women who challenge what we know about life, relationships, and ourselves. I want to share amazing books, articles and resources that help us all. I want to create space where we can all gather and say ‘this is bullsh*t, I’m not playing anymore.’ I want to empower women to have life changing moments.
I want you to join me.
Step 1. Sign up for the e-mails. When there is a new blog post, podcast or other random thought that pops into my head, you will be the first to know.
Step 2. Get in touch with me. What are you fed up about? What do you want to talk about? I want to hear from you!
Step 3. Share this with your fellow fed up women. This is a movement and everyone is welcome.